i hate when i lose things at school like my pencils and papers and life ambitions
Ellie and Carl + Rory and Amy (Up + Doctor Who)
And then the sad realization that they’re even more alike now.
INHUMAN WAILS OF PAIN AND SUFFERING
if we got all the cats in the world to meow at exactly the same time how loud would it be
Well the average cat meow is like 65/75dB (above speaking volume but below shouting) and there are about 2bn cats in the world, so, by that math, 130-150bn dB. Which is about 100 million jets taking off at once.
taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up? in thirty minutes? in 3 hours? in 9 years?? no one can be sure
i consider giving people dirty looks a hobby
have you ever just
stopped whatever you were doing
to look at an english word and
“you look like a fake word”
when you go in the bathroom and you don’t know if it’s water or pee on the ground
wow my brother was telling me this joke and he said
"if you’re fighting with a woman and she pulls a knife on you, just pull out the bread and cheese and meat and her womanly instincts will kick in and she’ll just make you a sandwich"
then all of a sudden our mom emerges from the kitchen holding a huge ass knife and she approaches my brother asking “sorry what was that?” and he started screaming